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The following are a selection of my favourite poems written at various points in my life, and usually inspired by a person or a life event. They vary from the light-hearted to thought-provoking. I hope you will enjoy them!
Please note: all poetry featured on this website is copyrighted and is not to be reproduced without permission or without crediting the source and author.
The Tale of the Haggis
The tale of the Haggis, was not a happy one,
For being chased around wee hillsides was not a lot of fun,
And then there's Robbie Burns, a man whom all Haggis hate,
For it's at his celebrations, that they would end up on a plate.
For years they were terrorized by people great and small,
They even tried to catch Nessie, the goddess of them all.
Until that is, a wee young haggis from o'er the yonder glen,
Spoke out for all the haggis. His name is haggis Ben.
He wanted liberation, to set the haggis free,
From ending up at parties, as lunch for you or me.
So, he set out with a mission; to win the Highland Games,
In front of many people, kings and queens and dames.
He brought himself some bagpipes, a wee Scots tartan to
And practiced on the hillsides, until all the tunes he knew.
He fed himself on porridge, with no sugar, only salt.
He practiced tossing the caber, throwing the hammer, doing a vault.
Night and day you would see him, tackling every event,
Could he be the greatest champion that the haggis god had ever sent?
The big day came, the castle grounds were packed.
The events were all just starting, all needing to be attacked.
First, he won the dancing, the reels and the flings,
He won the highest honours that Highland Dancing could ever bring.
His rendition of Amazing Grace, it had the crowd in tears,
The wee Scots lads and lasses just couldn't believe their ears.
The last event, the tossing of the caber, was about to end the day,
Ben winning this one the crowd sighed, no chance, no hope, no way,
But up he stepped, the caber he tossed high,
And far and wide and many a mile into the distant sky.
Every event he had entered, he had always won the prize,
He'd beaten all the heavies, musicians, girls and guys.
The Queen, she asked him, if he had a wish, as he was knighted on the spot.
Yes, freedom for the haggis, here's the contract, just sign along the dots.
So, now when e'er you eat a haggis, its only that in name,
It's the poor ole sheep that has to suffer, which seems to be a shame,
But until a sheep will no longer stand the chop,
You can still eat your haggis, homemade or from a shop.
The mind though of the haggis, can now be allowed to rest.
For it has the freedom of Scotland, thanks to Ben who beat the best.
Unharried by the maidens, Ben now lives in peace,
With the royals at Balmoral, until his day the cease.
The tale of the family Brown
Here's a day in the life of the family Brown,
An average bunch from the edge of town.
There's a mother and a father and Ashleigh their son,
And three young girls, ages twelve, eight and one.
Plus, a whole host of creatures who we'll all get to meet,
So now let's start this story in Anywhere Street.
The birds are singing, the clouds are high,
The sun has risen, lighting up the sky.
The alarm clock rings its piercing tones,
Life struggles out of bed with sighs and groans.
The Monday rush has started, no time to hang around,
All are late arising, even Bruno the bloodhound.
Breakfast is hurried in its usual way,
Cold tea and toast the order of the day.
Now Emma's stomping up and down, she just can't find her shoe,
The postman arrives at the door, with not one bill but two.
Father reads them hurriedly and then begins to shout,
That's another flaming hundred quid I'll have to fork out.
Mother tries to calm him down and feed the baby too,
And the cats have started fighting like they always seem to do.
And then the mass exit - the kids are off to school,
And father's off to surgery to write his usual scrawl.
But with traffic at a standstill, more roadworks up ahead,
By the time he gets to work, his patients might be dead.
At last, though he gets there, as usual very late,
His patients are all grumbling, for all have had to wait.
All is peaceful back at home, tranquility restored,
And mother's tidying up the house, no time to get bored.
The babies flat out, fast asleep, the dog is snoring well,
But how long can the quiet last? Only time can tell.
The lessons have now started in the local school,
Emma's doing history, Lisa's breaking rules
And Ashleigh's doing painting, mostly on the toilet walls.
Mother is still busy doing all the chores,
The cats continue in their daily wars.
Father down the surgery is gradually going mad,
For a dozen hypochondriacs are all the patients, he has had.
Finally, evening comes around and all are back at home
And the arguments have started on who first may use the 'phone.
Dinner is now ready - it's Cottage Pie tonight,
For once it isn't burnt, in fact it tastes all right.
Another fight, over what to watch on T.V.
But father puts his foot down, there's a program he wants to see.
The kids continue arguing, father can stand no more
And tells them all to go to bed or their bottoms will be sore.
It's been a really tiring day, so parents take an early night,
But baby wakes up suddenly, giving everyone a fright.
Soon though all is quiet, the family is fast asleep,
The cats are happily purring all curled up in a heap.
Morning is approaching, the stars have left the sky,
The birds are singing sweetly, the clouds are floating high,
The alarm clock rings its piecing tones, it's time to arise once more,
And all are wondering aimlessly what the day will have in store.
But that's another story to be continued one fine day,
Of an average type of family, at home, at work, at play.
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